This is not an original 'Rachel's Planet' post today. This comes from my friend Sonya's blog. I loved her post so much that I had to copy it here (with her permission, of course)!
She's a wise woman.
She's a wise woman.
You're the parent. You're in charge.
I'll never forget a conversation we had with some acquaintances many years ago. We had just had Paige and they had just had their first daughter. They came over one evening for a visit and were surprised to discover that our girls, particularly our baby, were in bed by 7pm. The wife looked at us in complete shock and asked, "How do you do that?" The husband added that his wife would stay up all hours of the night waiting for their baby to fall asleep. We informed them that all we did was put our kids to bed at the time we felt was appropriate for them to go to bed. They looked at us, eyes big as saucers, as though they just couldn't believe it.
All I could think was, who's in charge? You or your child? Clearly, for them, it was their child. People haven't changed though over the 17 years I've been a parent. I had a conversation with somebody just last week who was upset because their 14 year old was dating somebody they didn't approve of and they didn't know what to do about it. I just wanted to shake this person and say, "Seriously? It never occurred to you that you are the parent and have the power to say 'No, this is not acceptable'?"
But I've found that in today's society this is increasingly the case. I'm not entirely sure why this is. I suppose in some cases parents want to be friends with their children and are hesitant to do anything that might make their children mad at them. I think it's also maybe a bit about this "me" generation and the sense of entitlement kids today have. They want it all, they want it now and they expect their parents to give it to them. And we've been brainwashed into thinking this is how it's supposed to go. How sad.
Just to be clear, I'm not advocating that we all be mean dictators over our children, preventing them from ever having or doing things that they want. And it's good and important to involve your children in conversations that allow them input into decisions that affect their lives. But when you're a parent it's up to you to create & enforce boundaries for your children, to teach them, to pass your wisdom on to them. That's your job. That's what's expected. Children can't do it for themselves, as much as they sometimes think they can. The power is in your hands. Use it.
I'll never forget a conversation we had with some acquaintances many years ago. We had just had Paige and they had just had their first daughter. They came over one evening for a visit and were surprised to discover that our girls, particularly our baby, were in bed by 7pm. The wife looked at us in complete shock and asked, "How do you do that?" The husband added that his wife would stay up all hours of the night waiting for their baby to fall asleep. We informed them that all we did was put our kids to bed at the time we felt was appropriate for them to go to bed. They looked at us, eyes big as saucers, as though they just couldn't believe it.
All I could think was, who's in charge? You or your child? Clearly, for them, it was their child. People haven't changed though over the 17 years I've been a parent. I had a conversation with somebody just last week who was upset because their 14 year old was dating somebody they didn't approve of and they didn't know what to do about it. I just wanted to shake this person and say, "Seriously? It never occurred to you that you are the parent and have the power to say 'No, this is not acceptable'?"
But I've found that in today's society this is increasingly the case. I'm not entirely sure why this is. I suppose in some cases parents want to be friends with their children and are hesitant to do anything that might make their children mad at them. I think it's also maybe a bit about this "me" generation and the sense of entitlement kids today have. They want it all, they want it now and they expect their parents to give it to them. And we've been brainwashed into thinking this is how it's supposed to go. How sad.
Just to be clear, I'm not advocating that we all be mean dictators over our children, preventing them from ever having or doing things that they want. And it's good and important to involve your children in conversations that allow them input into decisions that affect their lives. But when you're a parent it's up to you to create & enforce boundaries for your children, to teach them, to pass your wisdom on to them. That's your job. That's what's expected. Children can't do it for themselves, as much as they sometimes think they can. The power is in your hands. Use it.
He loves his new toddler scooter among all his other fabulous gifts.
I lined up the kids for the traditional pose. It was rushed and I am not happy with it but it will have to suffice. Liam's hair is wild! Grade seven for Nathan and grade four for Chad.
