My child is unmotivated. I am ready to scream.
Tonight, Nathan showed me his last interim report before school's out in a few weeks. Once again....'needs to show more effort'. Highlighted, underlined and capitalized.
We have coaxed, encouraged, pleaded, begged, bribed, rewarded, punished, and I've even resorted to tears over this issue. He always agrees to try harder but doesn't follow through.
I feel like giving up.
Do we just live and let live? Let Nate just be who he is and let the report cards be full of mediocre marks and 'needs to show more effort' comments?
Do we harp on him and ride his butt everyday single day of the school year?
What? What? What?
Teacher friends, parents, anyone! I'd love any advice you could throw my way.
I'm completely at a loss what to do with my very smart but very carefree child.
10 comments:
I'll get back to you on this one...I have some ideas but it might take me a while to compose them :)
Good luck......and God bless! I've got nothing smart for you at the moment...but I do really love Lisa Welchel's book, Creative Correction......
Let me know if you figure something out. My oldest is very similar - it's hard for my hubby to watch as hubby's so competitive in everything and she's just not... he just doesn't understand her lack of desire to achieve. I figure these two kids must be such well balanced children that they don't need recognized achievement to feel good about themselves :)
Jennifer
Our oldest is the exact same way and I've yet to come up with a solution. And it's twice as scary when you're trying to get them through highschool! I'm just trying to trust God that everything will work out in the end and somehow she'll make it through.
My oldest is the same way...and come to think of it...so is my youngest!
We rider their butts Mon-Fri and give them the weekends off. For everything. Piano included.
It seems to be the only thing can do unless you don't mind their marks! And our standard is no longer 'pass vs fail'. With Alanna's assignments we expect B's because we know she is capable. It used to be that we just expected her to pass but we have slowly raised the bar.
It's hard work, and sucks being the nag :(
Have you tried bribing him with money? I don't know if I agree with that myself, but my co-worker's friend does this to get her boy to work harder. Or, getting him to pay YOU if he does poorly. Probably not a good idea with just any kid, but if you know he's a smartie, that might be the only fire you can light under him that works. Good luck! We'll be facing the same issues in a couple of years too :)
Have you asked HIM what motivates him? What he would be willing to work toward? My parents tried everything to motivate me to achieve with piano lessons, for 4 years, and finally gave up. It was the happiest day of my life, to that point. If they would have offered me new hockey equipment or something that really interested me, I may done better with the music thing.
At the risk of sounding like a bad parent (and remember my kids aren't in school yet), I really don't know what my grades were like back then, and I don't worry about it. The school system isn't perfect, and not geared for every kid.
The up-side is: he won't have stomach ulcers and he won't develop dementia. (-:
Rachel, this so reminds me of one of our friends who is experiencing the same thing with thier child. . only he's a tad older. The crazy thing is. . you can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Try not to get ulcers over it. As long as your son is a loving member of the family. . it will work out and he will become a productive member of society if he knows how to respect you. . .and authority.
It seems to me that you are doing so much right in your home. . .keep up the good work.
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